Every Bride Needs A Ninja

By Patrick Ang

It isn’t new information that cell phones, tablets and selfie sticks are an annoying distraction at weddings. There have been numerous blog posts, articles, rants on social media and even news coverage addressing this issue. We are all aware of this problem and there have been many attempts to resolve it, but as technology advances and social media grows with every demographic, it is almost inevitable and expected to have technology at weddings.

As a photographer and videographer, I’ve shot close to 300 weddings and I’ve seen it all. I cannot recall one wedding that I’ve shot in the past couple of years that was truly unplugged. Brides and grooms are even setting the example to their guests by taking selfies during the ceremony. And what about the hashtags? It’s practically a way of telling your guests to stick a phone in front of your face the whole time you are there and share it as fast as you can with your social media friends, who are most likely sitting right next to you. I’ve also seen a company that rents out iPhones with a list of suggested times to take selfies (during processional, ceremony, kiss, recessional, speeches, first dance, etc..) then send it back to the company to make a low resolution slide show. This just encourages wedding guests to get in front of the professional photographer and videographer.

So what are some things couples have actually done when trying to make their weddings unplugged? I’ve seen decorated signs saying that the wedding was going to be unplugged. I’ve also seen the officiate making an announcement to silence all cell phones. Immediately after that announcement I can almost guarantee that at least 5 cell phones go up as the bride walks down the aisle. We live in a society where the norm is to share each and every moment with as many people as you can, as fast as you can. Is it even worth it to explain to people how to enjoy the moment and put the cell phone away? Not really. But 10 years from now when you see those pictures and video you will be annoyed seeing those huge, primitive smart phones in every shot because by then technology will be embedded in your retina and saved to a flash drive in your brain.

Is there really a solution to truly have an unplugged wedding? Good news! I have 5 guaranteed solutions to make your wedding truly unplugged.

1. Wire every chair to send a low voltage shock to anyone holding an electronic device, excluding guests with medical equipment.
2. Create a homemade electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) and set it off 5 minutes before the ceremony.
3. Rent out a metal detector entrance and decorate it with flowers. Put it at the entrance and collect cell phones as your guest walk in.
4. Put tranquilizer darts in every chair so that as each guest sits down they will remain numb throughout the ceremony and unable to reach for their mobile device.
5. Hire the Wedding Ninja.

About the author: Patrick Ang is a freakin’ phenomenal photographer and videographer. Plus, he has a hilarious and contagious personality to boot.He is a very experienced and fun wedding professional. Check out his work on his website: http://www.patrickangphotography.com/
You can also follow him on social media:
Facebook: @PatrickAngPhotography
Instagram: #PatManAng
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGbOwO7WE4cpJQPLXNxOvrA